What was once new is now old, and what was once old is now history.
Neither is as important as Now.

Here’s to living Now and not Then.

This last year [2009] was such a “foot in mouth” year for me where nearly everything I wrote came back to gnaw on me in some tasteless, brutal fashion. Whether it was from speaking too soon or disclosing too much, I am regretful for opening myself up to such a surplus of criticism. Oh, much of the criticism wasn’t even vocalized, but I still felt it, saw it, tasted of its bitterness.

I suppose that’s one of the [dis]advantages of being a writer. To expose is to be real, regardless of how foolish or profound the words spoken. I really don’t like being wrong.
I was wrong a lot and placed it in plain sight.

My goal for 2010? Talk less, do more.

May 2009

A flashlight flickers. A match is lit and just as quickly burns out in the breeze.
In that brief instant where light exposes the nature of the heart, truth is revealed. Perhaps this is of no consequence to the fellow man. To me, it is a reality so brutally honest, I can barely bring myself to a point of confession. Loneliness invokes particular behaviors within that I cannot ignore.

In this hour, I find myself amongst a myriad of friends; I feel more highly favored than ever. Although surrounded by dear folks from various circles, I feel a yearning deeper still… There ought to be something more than this.

Here’s the exposure of a heart that longs for true companionship, the exposure of one who’s simply not satisfied by what is “flesh and bone”, by merely the tangible forms of community.  

It’s not enough, it will never be enough.

Risk. Exposure. Degradation. Silence.

immaturity … mmaturity … Maturity

Seed. Sprout. [Rain! Wind!] Death.
Seed. Sprout. [Rain! Wind!] Death.
Seed. [Rain.] Sprout. [Sun.] Bud. [Rain. Sun.] Bloom.

Risk. Exposure. Sustenance. Growth.